I have always imagined that I would breastfeed for a year.

I'm not sure where that number came from but I believe that it's good for him, that if it is possible for the mother then it's super beneficial for the babe and then as I began to love this bonding time I couldn't see our relationship without this vital part.

When we first introduced solids he stopped feeding for about three days and it scared the crap out of me! I wasn't ready for this to stop. Pete and I had a lot of conversations about supporting Cillian in his choices as he grows into a full sized human rather than mourning things we have lost along the way. And I really loved that that is a conversation he inspired because it applies to so many aspects of our lives.

But this week and last as I've started pumping for nanny as well as a drop in his solid intake from sickness (meaning a boost in the breastfeeding arena), my feelings are once again changing... I'm tired. I love him and our moments together but I find myself impatient, wishing I didn't have to.

I feel guilty about it but also feel ok with letting this feeling wash over me a while before we make any decisions. This breastfeeding journey sure is full of surprises.

#normalizebreastfeeding #breastfeedingmama



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